Monday, February 05, 2007

The Window Burns to Light the Way Back Home...

...I could make extra money doing highschool sock-hops.... but I am t0o disabled as I am spitting up pieces of my broken lung... Being a student of psychology, clinical psychology being a great chunk of that 'psychology', I would only know from an data standpoint, the objective rationale for schizophrenia, more aptly, the symptom of 'hearing voices'. Long ago, even whenst upon various psychotropics of the most demanding level, heavy lsd, peyote, etc. I still had the control of rationale mind to know what was unreal, and even then, it was mainly 'images' of disorted occiptal firing, and never 'actual voices'.

I am sorry, and a bit, frightened to say that for a two hour span of my time, between 730pm-930pm Monday, Feb 5th, 2007 ce, I heard voices that I could not distinguish were actual physical decibels from the waking world. They were in fact, utterly in my mind. Because, the chances of 'voices' in the real world, would be slim to none to be telling me when to use the 'standard error v standard deviation' in regards to confidence intervals. I am a bit shaken, and a bit scared, that I heard a male voice loud to the point where my actual ears 'heard this fucking guy telling me this classic statistical parameter'. I heard it. And I was completely lucid and awake. I physically heard it, not the type where you recall a man's voice in your mind, but I actually heard an older man's voice, and I know it was a simple malfunction of my neural spiking, but this has NEVER happened to me before, and it is fucking scary as fuck. And clearly, it was my own misfiring, as what he told me was very vague, and useless.

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