When He Dies, Can You Be My PenPal?

Dear OPEC and Big Texan Oilman:

My name is Lockheed Hayheehoo Macedon, my father is very sick these days... Once a fearless degree 3 freemason since college, he is but a frail withered bobbling corpse who does not see the light of day. His idea of charity is the strategic dispersion of his hard earned money and profits hoping it goes the right route. He's never purchased a single thing for himself with his assets, he's only scattered them via electronic platforms and the occasional phone call... Lately, he has gone into deep debt, boiling a dozen eggs and refrigerating them to be eaten during Alpha Wave respites. His Crude Oil contracts are highly leveraged and if Crude gets back to $46 within a few weeks, he can appease those types who say, 'thank you' with a crowbar, and I will still have a Daddy... Please find it in your big texan heart to cut supply(just for one month). Oh, no, Daddy's come back and his nose is bleeding... gotta go! -hay ;0