And if I Make It to the waterside...I'll be sure to write you a note...

It's hard to get by, just upon a smile... Dollar tumbled overnight. Course I withdrew 90% of my account value last week. So I got a mini-lot on. Today I finished Financial Statement Analysis book finally... COGSlifo= COGSfifo + BINVfifo(Change lifoR/BINVlifo+BLifoR)... and I hope there is only one if not any questions on capitalizing leases or treating them as operating leases if you are a lessor/lessee and the impact on CFO, CFF and leverage ratios...you're only dancing on this earth for a short time... It's funny, I wrote a story once, prior to the millenium... and it is all coming true... if I could only find the manuscript... silver tears were shed or some shit like that... I am both writer, character, and audience... bizarro... had to be subconscious, but impossible coincidence...

I Close My Eyes....and I Slipped Away...

So I went to a Career Fair. Yeah. I didn't feel like loading up on pens and squeeze ball gadgets. But I did get a bag of Sun Chips from the Frito Lay booth. Stopped at Chuck Schwab, AIG, Lilly, Blackrock. No dice. Financial Advisor shit. I can't SELL. I have no BOOK. I'm a fucking trader. And then some wack company... I said I had a trading background, and they said, 'oh great, fill out this form, we do textile trading and....' Fuck. I talked to Eli Lilly, and they said, are you familiar with us? I said, 'I'm familiar with your drugs.' 'Like Zyprexa'. 'Tough Sell, because it doesn't FUCKING work!'

Anyways, it was down across from the NYMEX in the Embassy Suite Hotel. I saw some coffee trader I knew, and said, 'what up'. And then I treated myself to Taco Bell on Chambers. The overhead light collapsed on my head and shattered glass all over my clothing. The manager comes over and says, 'Sorry, sorry, are you okay? Can I get you a BandAid or something?' I just said in a daze, 'meh...' with beef caught under my partial dentures and sour cream caked within the seams of my lips.... 'Yeah, you can get me a fucking MRI!'

WHEEEEeeen the Dogs Do Find Me...

I just came back from the library to find out that Hay was hiding a fractured arm for almost a week! She knew that I was out of work and haven't had health insurance for almost a year now(hence I refrain from most sport activities these days, and my continual tooth decay is a time measure of such lack like a year long hourglass), so she just stopped going outside to play with her friends in Central Park, until her arm hurt less. Luckily kids heal quicker. I noticed too that Curious and her weren't rough-housing at all since Tuesday. Apparently she collided with the net pole while playing a pick up volleyball game(or so she says). So I guess it's back to the Chess hut for her for a few weeks, and not the volleyball courts near Sheep's Meadow this spring. And these are the eyes of disarray...

Spring is Here, And I'm Gonna Have my Own little SubPrime Meltdown...

...well, that's that... I have about 2 months left... almost end of March 2007, exam on June 2nd, lease up in about two months, Warcraft subscription done... I'm gonna take out a 30K loan, and trade independently... I've given up on ever getting a serious job ever again in my life. I've thrown in the towel. I just want to pass my CFA exam, and that will be my small victory. It probably won't open up many doors anyways, because I am damaged goods... I went wrong in youth and early 20's, and now I pay the moderate price of death. So I figure Capital One will have to write off 30K in bad debt, big woop, and then I walk off into the sunset. Will probably spend $1000 of the credit on a 1 week all inclusive vacation to somewhere like Tel Aviv again, and walk through the Arab quarters in Jerusalem with my Kippah on, and then kiss the Wailing Wall with my Turbine on, and then if I'm not blown up, shot to death, or some other sort of beyond description violent death, I will walk from Jaffa along the Tel Avivian coast, play some Kadima ball with an old man, then lay down in the sun, and the walk into the Mediterranean, and swim out until I just tire out, and drown... I'll pick a sunny day, or the closest thing to it I guess...

There's been days as of late, where I've ripped through a whole pack of smokes, which is disgusting on so many levels. I've noticed a slightly larger growth on the inside part of my thigh, which could be some sort of cancer. If only cigarettes would do what they advertised a lot quicker. Circumstance has been killing me these past 4 years, and I've given up on trying to change them for the time being, simply because my soul is in ruins. Hope to sleep.

FOF Analysts Roles
Contact: Hope Williams, The Westminster Grouphope@wgpeople.com
Salary: Range from $150K to $600K
The Westminster Group, a 12 year old recruiting firm, is seeking candidates for several HFOF analytical roles. These roles are based in NYC and the compensation ranges from $150K to $600K plus bonus.

Stat Arb Traders
Alpha Search Advisory Partners
NY, CT, IL, MN
Contact: alphasearch, Alpha Search Advisory Partnersteam@alphasearchadvisory.com
A number of firms, from expanding start-ups, well-established multi-strategies and IB prop desks seek established stat. arb. traders with intellectual property (system) in equities, fixed income, currencies and commodities.

US Markets Trader
Greenwich, CT Global Hedge Fund
Contact: Kyle J. Ramkissoon, IJC Partnerstel.: 212-626-6920kyle@ijcpartners.com
Global hedge fund client looking to add a US Markets Trader to their team. Job Description: The individual in the Trading role will take on multiple responsibilities, including trading, trading strategy development, and process improvement. The US Markets Trader will: •Execute trades in the North and South American markets •Trade a wide variety of instruments including, but not limited to: equities, convertible bonds, currencies, options, commodities, and interest rate swaps •Conduct trade analysis •Develop trading strategies •Improve the implementation process, including enhancing the electronic trading systems by working with the development team to define and test new features/capabilities Job Requirements: •1-5 years trading experience, preferably some electronic trading experience •Strong analytical skills •Prefer candidates with some C++ , JAVA or Perl experience •Basic SQL knowledge •A bachelors and/or masters degree in Mathematics, Engineering, Computer Science, Physics, Finance or a related field with a high GPA

Junior Futures Execution/Trader
MKP Capital Management, LLC
NYC Fixed Income
Contact: Office Manager , MKP Capital Management, LLCtel.: 2123037100resume@mkpcap.com
Established fixed income hedge fund with over $5B in assets seeks a candidate with 1-3 years of prior experience as an execution/trader for its CTA/global futures trading group.
The candidate will have active participation in all levels of execution for global futures and cash FX markets therefore experience dealing with Futures/FX markets is a plus. We value confidence and creativity in developing and improving our execution process.

Trader
NYC Hedge Fund
Contact: Jeff Lazarhftrader@hotmail.com
Salary: comensurate with experience
Hedge Fund in the Event-Driven space is seeking a trader. Investment style includes merger arbitrage and special situations equities.

Location
New York
Sector
Finance
Agency
Huxley Associates
Contact
Troy Nealtel.: 212-707-8220trading.usa@huxley.com
Salary
$800K+ (Total Package)
If you are looking to jump-start your career within a new environment and also be first in line for a senior role, then send me your resume immediately.

Junior Hedge Fund Analyst
New York, NY Fund of Funds
Contact: Daniel Glynndanielglynn@larchlane.com
Salary: Competitive
2100 Larch Lane is a fast growing, mid-sized alternative investment firm that manages fund of fund products and seeds early stage hedge fund managers. We are looking for a Hedge Fund Analyst to assist our investment team. Responsibilities of the position include: data gathering; assisting the investment team in performing extensive due diligence on hedge fund managers; meeting with and performing quantitative and qualitative analysis of managers to be summarized in formal write-ups; and supporting the senior investment professionals. An appropriate candidate should have 0-2 years total experience, ideally at a financial institution. Also, we require excellent qualitative and quantitative analytical skills; must be a hard working person willing to work under pressure within a team; strong written, oral, and interpersonal skills and attention to detail. An undergraduate degree from a top tier university is required.

New York, NY Investment Management-Alternatives
Contact: Claire Hua, Morgan Stanleyclaire.hua@morganstanley.com
Morgan Stanley Investment Management is a global provider of superior investment products and services to institutional clients across multiple asset classes.Morgan Stanley Investment Management offers clients a wide range of U.S. Equity and Fixed Income products, as well as a number of Global and Emerging Markets investments and Alternative Asset Classes.Working with the Portfolio Managers, this individual will support the investment efforts of the quantitative investment team evaluating stocks on a quantitative basis and monitoring investment portfolio characteristics and performance.

Junior Trader / Analyst
Quantitative Financial Strategies, Inc. (QFS)
Greenwich, CT
Contact: qfsfunds, Quantitative Financial Strategies, Inc. (QFS)tel.: 203-983-5600jobs@qfsfunds.comPlease send a resume and cover letter to jobs@qfsfunds.com. Reference Job ID 103
Salary: Competitive
This entry-level position (0-3 years experience) will share time between our Trading and Research Departments. The position is an excellent opportunity for an individual to gain exposure to a wide variety of financial products and global markets in an active trading room environment as well as exposure to sophisticated statistical analysis. The position offers the opportunity to explore both departments and potentially lead to an advanced position.

Quantitative Researcher/Strategist
Quantitative Financial Strategies, Inc. (QFS)
Greenwich, CT
Contact: qfsfunds, Quantitative Financial Strategies, Inc. (QFS)tel.: 203-983-5600jobs@qfsfunds.comPlease send resume and cover letter to jobs@qfsfunds.com. Reference Job ID 107
Salary: Competitive
This position in our Research Department represents an excellent opportunity for an individual to work in a small, productive and energetic R&D environment. A successful candidate will be able to contribute directly and significantly to the company’s bottom line.

Falling Threes, or Crowes, a Nonlinear Signal...

...I'll read to you hear, save your eyes... Double Dorking Out on Alzeroth, my Warcraft Guild here(read the chat by clicking on the picture)... The thing is, we were right about the DJIA out of the money puts after the little shakeout in early March. We get the volatility premium, and now the theta decay... and now an inflection point in the Yen... with cheap 'Into the Void' Black Sabbath playing in the background... I'm still stuck between a rock and a shit place. I need to be alone to survive. It must occur. And I was reading about robot vacuums which I wrote something about on another blog, and it was about last Christmas when I was going to buy a cheap inflatable robot on remote control treads, which stood about 3.5 feet tall when inflated and was going to tell Hay and Curious to turn their collective backs, while I put two oreo cookies and a glass of milk on the inflatable tray that the robot had, and then drive it up to them and mimic in a robot voice: 'Greetings, cookies and Milk Earthlinks?' But I never got the robot, and for the most part, currently, robots would probably be from Earth and not outerspace, so they wouldn't say 'earthling', in fact the robot was from Robot Village, a small store up on Broadway past Fairways, and I went in, and the guy asked if I was a robot builder. And it would've been one of those things that I get, and use once or twice and then it collects dust and takes up too much space, and as I write this, dollar/yen is continually getting snubbed at 117.75-76, and hopefully, this time people will give up and let it drop again, as it's the 7th time today it has failed to break, and it's NOT a good carry trade level, when you should technically have a clean path down to 114 handle, and now it's starting to slightly break... now it's deflected back down, if it breaks, I am financially dead again.

You Gotta Know When to Hold 'em, Know When to Fold 'em...

Unwinding of the Unwinding? Fuck you. Every hands a winner, every hands a loser. You know that. Click on this picture and read the Guild talk from Warcraft.... yeah, a loser with the cocaine nosejob...

Thank You Very Much, Mr. Roboto, For Doing the Jobs, Nobody Wants To...

...nebulous... zero visibility... on a random note, I didn't know that the Talking Heads were from Rhode Island; they were RISD grads... figures...

Tokyo Opens in 1 minute, and the yen is deadly...

If you find yourself not playing Warcraft or ping pong on a Sunday night in the United States, in order to trade the Yen on a '1-minute' chart, volatility must be blasting out of 3 standard deviations. In less than 2 hours, the yen has strengthened almost 100 pips as people finally understand how a carry trade goes ugly. 'One day' of Yen appreciation has wiped out '6 months' of carry trade gains. On another note, I think Tiffany stock (TIF) warrants another look after the 5.5% disclosure by Trian Fund, which I would assume will be buying more this week after last week's -500 DJIA dip, perhaps the one diamond in the ruff in the contrarian's strategy. Did I mention that I'm a total dork?